Saturday, my cousin got married. He married a wonderful, sweet girl and that in itself may be a whole blog altogether. (I'm SO proud of him!) Clint is my cousin on my Dad's side. Both sides of my family are actually very close and I know that is unusual, but it is really special to me. My Mother and her only sister married brothers- so for years ALL of my cousins were Singletons. That is one reason why my families are close...there are other reasons, but they are complicated! We live in a small town so large families in small towns make for many common friends. My Dad came from a family of 13 siblings. They were very spread out and my youngest aunt has nephews and nieces that are older than her. They are a funny, talkative bunch and somehow our children get into the craziest predicaments. Needless to say, we have a lot of fun whenever we are together. My Mom came from a family of 4, two girls & two boys. We have been very blessed and I love my family dearly.

My Dad's Mother was Bessie. She was country born and bred. Ma Bessie, as we called her, was one of those people who was the same no matter where you saw her. I don't know if she knew that Eleanor Roosevelt said that no one could make you feel inferior without your consent, but that was her motto. She was just as likely to tell the Sheriff off as she was the criminal. (And that may or may not have happened.) She grew up poor, and raised her children by the skin of their teeth- but they were her kids and they were just as good as yours. On the other hand, all children at her house were fair game. If her kids got in trouble, yours did, too. I was a grandchild and have witnessed grandchildren and their friends get a swat from the flyflap or a house shoe! There were always lots of kids to play with and something to get in to at Ma Bessie's. With that being said, my Dad often told me that growing up you didn't come home late. You didn't come home at all or came in early because a late arrival meant you wouldn't have a bed. There were always extra children at the Singleton home. Ma Bessie was always befriending the underdog. If someone didn't have family- they were at our family reunion. I have attended many family functions, Christmas get togethers, Easter, etc. where there was a mysterious person present. Sometimes we found out who they were by the end of they day and sometimes you didn't- but you had better offer them something to eat! I suppose I'll never forget when my cousin Pam was bringing her fiance, Todd, up to meet us all for the first time. Todd was from a well-known family in Mobile and we were all told to be on our best behavior that day. Nothing could happen to run Todd off because Pam was really crazy about him. We walked in Ma Bessie's house and she was sitting in a chair between the kitchen and the living room. She loved this perch because she could see both doors and keep an eye on what was going on. We all said hello and chatted and began wondering where Todd was. About the time we were about to ask- we got out answer. Out came Todd from the back porch with a screw driver in his hand. Ma Bessie was grinning. Todd walked up to her and said, "The screen is fixed. Is there anything else you need?" We all stared wide eyed. Had Todd really just fixed the back screen door on his FIRST visit to Chatom? My Dad did his deep sigh and walked outside, some of the sisters poked at each other grinning. "Mama!" one of the girls exclaimed after Todd walked on out the front door to find Pam, "why did you make him work!" "He walked in and asked if he could do anything and it was broke," she stated matter-of-factly. I ran outside with a few cousins and we all agreed that Todd might come back, but he wouldn't be asking if there was anything that needed to be done, especially if she was cooking chitlins. We had learned that a long time ago ourselves. (Todd is still in the family, by the way.)

But that was how she was. When she passed away, close to a thousand people showed their respects....and the crowd ran the gamut from lawyers to the unemployed. Most of them had eaten at her table and another good number had gotten a spanking by her, but they took time out of their day to say goodbye.

She had many grandchildren that were not born into our family, but she claimed them and treated us all the same. I never heard her call any of them her step-grandchildren. When she married my grandfather, he had 3 children whom she raised as her own. She never called them her step children, either. While she never had a heart to heart and talked to me about this, I took this in. I learned from her example and I am so glad. I would miss out on so much in my future had I not witnessed first hand this kind of total acceptance of anyone who is not blood related. My Dad had brought an army friend up to hunt and fish when they were in their early twenties. Johnny Duggar liked it so much he bought land and built a cabin in the woods of Washington County. Since my Dad referred to his fellow Green Beret as 'Duggar', everyone else did, too. Us kids called him Uncle Duggar, because you had to 'put a handle on' any adults name. Around my aunt Renee's table as we were making the official list for the survivors in Ma Bessie's obituary, I remember several cousins who were in their late teens realize that 'uncle Duggar' didn't share their blood. But we all know that blood doesn't make the family, so he's safe. He wasn't listed in the paper, but he sat in the reserved section.

My maternal grandmother, Jean, has the most loving heart. She has taken care of more elderly people than anyone I know, buying their groceries for them or taking them their medicine. She worked for years in the lunchroom at our public school. If we had every dollar that she gave to a needy child- we'd be rich. No one knows how many kids she helped in her years of working, but she made many children feel special as they walked through the lunch line. Maw Maw Jean likes for us to all be together at the holidays. She loves it when we are all in one place and she hates to think of someone 'not having no where to go.' There have often been extra people at our Thanksgiving or Christmas Eve gatherings, because Maw Maw doesn't want anyone to eat alone. She calls me often to ask about people and worries about those who don't have family nearby. When I was growing up, it was very common for several of my Dad's brothers or sisters to come by to visit with my Maw Maw Jean. She had watched them all grow up and enjoyed hearing about their families. When my Ma Bessie passed away, my Maw Maw became a second Mom to many of them. Thus, I was not surprised when I found out that my cousin, Clint, had asked Maw Maw to stand in as his grandmother on his wedding day.

So, there I was, at my paternal cousin's wedding, watching my maternal grandmother be escorted in. I smiled as I watched her. I thought of what a wonderful thing is was that even though my grandmothers were very different, I was so blessed that they both taught me the same principle. They showed me in different ways that blood wasn't nearly as important as we believed. Through their lives, I know that you can and should love others no matter their background or circumstances. It has been a vital lesson to me in the ministry, but even more so in my own home. I have a child that I didn't birth, but I sometimes forget which one. I have a daughter in law that I love as my own and I am so thankful that I can.

This is the gift that my Grandmothers gave to me.

I pray I pass it on.